Quick Exit

Experiences Shared

Adam

All names and identifying details have been changed.

Participants have given us permission to share their experiences.

Adam says he had a brilliant upbringing in a supportive family with two siblings and ‘great parents’

He and his brother attended the same secondary school. One of the teachers, Mr Baker, ran an activity centre nearby where groups of boys from the school were regularly taken for short breaks. 

Mr Baker would choose one or two boys to be leaders who would sleep in a room with him, while the rest of the boys slept in dormitories next door. 

Adam was 11 years old on his first trip to the activity centre and he was chosen to be a leader. On arrival, Mr Baker directed him to place his belongings in the allocated room.

As he unpacked, he came across pornographic material in a drawer. Later that night, Adam told Mr Baker about seeing this material. Mr Baker looked at the pornography with him and at this point the sexual abuse began, with masturbation.

When he returned home, Adam recalls thinking ‘That shouldn’t have happened’, but he also thought the activity centre was great, and was worried that if he said he did not want to go again, people would ask him why. 

Adam and other boys from school were taken to the activity centre by Mr Baker several times a year and on each occasion, Adam was sexually abused.

He describes how Mr Baker would drive the boys in the dormitory out several miles away and leave them to find their way back. The teacher would then return to the centre and sexually abuse Adam. On one occasion, Adam witnessed Mr Baker abusing another boy who was also staying in the leaders’ bedroom.

He describes feeling trapped as the sexual abuse got progressively worse. He worried that if he stopped going to the activity centre people would want to know why, and he worried what people might say if he told them about the abuse. 

When he was about 15 years old, focusing on his GCSE studies gave Adam a reason not to go on the trips, without fear of people questioning him.

Shortly after this, he heard that someone had returned to the centre earlier than expected and found Mr Baker sexually abusing a boy. This was reported to the police.

Mr Baker was charged and received a custodial sentence for the sexual abuse of two boys. The police investigation appeared to be very narrow and other boys who had been taken to the centre were not asked if they too had been abused by Mr Baker. Adam remembers feeling relieved that no one spoke to him about it and that he was moving away from the area.

Adam is aware that Mr Baker groomed him with the pornography and promises of introducing him to beautiful women and sex parties. He feels he masked the impact of the abuse well, so there were no outward signs. He says ‘I was worried about being seen as a victim’.

He recognises that the sexual abuse had an impact on his behaviour. As a young adult he says he was ‘extremely promiscuous’. This is something he regrets but he believes it may have been caused by him needing to re-assert his heterosexuality.

He progressed academically and now has a successful professional career.

Adam says that he keeps his experience of abuse ‘in a box’, but occasionally a certain smell or name will take him right back to it. He has told very few people about it, but recently when he shared it with his siblings he discovered that his brother had also been abused by Mr Baker.

He questions why the police investigation was not broader in its scope and wonders how many other boys were abused by Mr Baker. He believes that investigations into child sexual abuse should include sensitively looking at all other children who may have been in the same situation as the known victims.

Adam also thinks that there should be greater recognition of both the direct and indirect consequences of child sexual abuse.

Your privacy

There are very limited circumstances where we tell anyone your name without your consent, for example if a child is currently at risk and we need to tell the police.